Boy

It started with you,
But another captured your soul,

It ends with him,
Electric,
Blood running through my veins with sparks,
Lungs suck in his breathe,
Lump in chest pumps for him,

No roses,
No blue,
No sweetness,
No you.

Should have but Didn't

I envy you,
I support you,
I wish the best for you,
I pray for you,

You're my hero,
You're amazing,
You're a good person,
You're going to be fine,

I love you,
I miss you,
Hello,
Goodbye,

The things I should have said.

Cliche Love Poem

In the beginning it was you and me,
But you chose another fish in the sea,

Then fate brought him and I together,
Love at first sight,
We live for each other,

And then you spoke those three small words,
I breathe him not you,
I can't live without him,

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
But it's not me...it's you.

Obsessions

One, two, three, four, five,
One, two, three, four, five,

Over and over again in your head,
Doesn't pause,
Doesn't quiet,

One, two, three, four, five,
One, two, three, four, five,

Can't be explained,
Can't be understood,
A constant state of numbers,
A constant state of repetition,

One, two, three, four, five,
One, two, three, four, five,

Lonely heart,
Lonely sounds,
Nothing but numbers.



1. What can I do to make this better?
2. Do you understand what its about?

Life is Harder than it seems

This is still a work in progress.

SETTING: This is set in a normal high school cafeteria.

COURTNEY

I thought moving into the cities would be easier. I thought it would just give me a little emotional break before going off to college. But this is worse than being in the middle of nowhere where there are a total of eight black kids in the entire school and all of the white kids hate them.

BRANDON

What’s the big deal Courtney…you take offence to being told you’re pretty?

COURTNEY

No not that, it’s the way they do it.

BRANDON

Well what do they say that’s so bad?

(As he asks she tunes out for a moment and has flash backs to the voices that harass her in the hallways everyday like clock work)

GANGTERS

Hey baby….oh I’d like to tap that…what’s that glare for baby….etc.

COURTNEY

STOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

(One single spot light on Courtney, everything else is silent and still)

COURTNEY

I’m not racists. I have friends from all different backgrounds, but when kids are walking around with their pants down to their ankles, doing drugs and bringing guns to school how am I supposed to feel? My friends claim to be racist, but I tell them its not racism if its only about the way they are acting and not because of the color of their skin…if a white kid were to act the same way none of us would like or respect him either.

GANGSTER #2

Hey baby whatchyou doin’ later?

(She snaps out of her silence and realizes she is in the real world again)

BRANDON

COURTNEY! Are you even listening?! I said you just need to get over it and move on, this will happen no matter where you go and you just need to get past it.

COURTNEY

I shouldn’t have to get used to being harassed everyday!

BRANDON

Well if you don’t like it then do something about it.

COURTNEY

How am I supposed to change the world…I’m just one person.

BRANDON

You don’t have to change the world Courtney, just spread how you feel and let the people that don’t think its wrong to do what they are doing know that its not okay.

COURTNEY

Yeah; I guess you’re right.

BRANDON

Alright whatever I’m out. Text me later if you can.

(Courtney is again distracted by her own thoughts)

COURTNEY

Yeah….I’ll talk to you later.

(A girl sitting close to the lunch table who seems to have been ease dropping comes up to Courtney, obviously looking for trouble)

GIRL

I heard you don’t like black people—

COURTNEY

No I’m just—

GIRL

Don’t cut me off! Who do you think you are you little half-breed!

(The random girl pauses and seems to be calming herself down)

GIRL

I’m just saying, you best be watching your back….we’ll be watching.

(The girl points to a table full of people dressed in Baby Phat, and Ecko)

COURTNEY

Yeah…I understand.

GIRL

GOOD.

(The girl makes a threatening gesture with her body and again there is nothing but a spot light on Courtney)

COURTNEY

I fear for my safety every time I walks here. This is not a safe place! Every time I walk down the halls here and the boys yell things to me they have girls hanging on them. THEY SAY THESE THINGS IN FRONT OF THE GIRLS THAT THEY ARE IN RELATIONSHIPS WITH! Do you know what these girls are thinking when their boyfriends say things to other girls, like ME.

(As she stands there voices again come from off stage)

GIRLFRIENDS

Stupid whore…Who does she think she is…She better watch herself…I could totally beat her down…etc.

COURTNEY

(In a whispered voice) I can’t do this anymore.

(The voices fade away…the lights fade away and a loud bang is heard…light come back up)

RANDOM PEOPLE

OH MY GOD…NO IT CANT BE…HOW COULD THIS BE HAPPENING…WHO WAS IT…IS ANYONE HURT…etc.

(People are running around all over the place scared because they don’t know what’s going on. And there is a young man lying on the floor lifeless)

COURTNEY

(She realizes who the young man is and can barely stand…she speaks in whispers again) Oh my god…(louder)…oh my god…(yelling now)…OH MY GOD! BRANDON!

(She falls to the ground by her dead friends side)

GIRL

(Just loud enough for Courtney to hear) I told you to watch your back you little half-breed. We own this school.

"If you dont risk anything you risk more"

This is another creative writing exercise that we did in class that I liked.

To me this statement means that if you keep to yourself your entire life and don't take risks you aren't living. You risk not finding love, even though there is a risk of loosing love. You risk not finding your true self, though there is a risk of loosing yourself. But when risk taking you learn that there is always a way of picking yourself back up and finding with u have risked and lost. By not risking anything in life you will never experience the wonders that the world has to offer. You will never feel the cool breeze coming off of the rolling waves and brush against your cheeks. You will never feel the warm hands of the one you love on yours. You will never hold that little bundle of joy that will then end up being the love of your life. If you never take risks you will watch people you once loved come and go but realize that you never really knew them. By not taking risks you are not living a life but going through the motions of a safe and boring being.

My Ideal Place

This was one of the writing exercises in my creative writing class.

My ideal place is filled with people that don't judge others by the way they look, the color of there skin, religion, gender, sexual oriantaion or anything of that nature. In my ideal place there will be nothing that can cause pain mentally or physically. In my ideal place it is warm but is filled with blues, purples and greens. In my ideal place everyone will get what the others have so there can be no jealousy or hatred towards others. There are no pets, only the animals of the wild roaming free. In my ideal world everyone will know everything BUT would still be able to learn from others.

Darkness of My Soul

Another eighth grade poem that I didnt really mean as MY life personally but just felt like being "deep".

in the dark,
big broken heart,
eyes blind,
help find,
the way into your soul,
darkness creaps,
as he sleeps,
you think all night long,
would he save,
or would he pave,
the way for all the rest,
demons awake,
the earth quakes,
you have yet to love

I'm Not Okay

So I wrote this in eighth grade and yes I know it sounds mega depressing but I didnt really feel this way I was just writing what sounded the most "deep" in my opinion.

im not ok,
for just a day,
i wish someone could see,
that in my heart,
i fall apart,
and life caves in on me,
a big black hole,
inside my soul,
makes me want to say,
that in my head,
i am so dead,
because you will not stay,
as life goes on,
i am a pon,
in gods larger plan,
i blead to death,
i'm so upset,
i dont know who i am,
smoedays are hard,
but just like cards,
you play them as they come,
you are a user,
and abuser,
you make me feel numb,
life goes so fast,
and in the past,
i would know what to do,
the shit has hit,
the fan again,
please help me help you,
i'm not ok,
for just a day,
i wish someone could see,
that i am dead,
not in my head,
its you, its them, its me.

Please Show Support

So as many of you may know I have a younger brother named Teddy who is about to turn five. Teddy was diagnosed with autism about three and a half years ago and my family is working very hard on understanding autism and how to make his life as normal as possible. My mother recently found a website where people make videos about there children or just autism in general and she decided to make one of her own (when I get the time I will be making one of my own also). Every time a video gets a hit one dollar gets donated to the Autism Foundation for more research for a cure. So please if you have the time take a look at this, it would mean a lot to me, my family and families all over the world. Thank you very much in advance and feel free to comment on her video as well it would mean a lot to us. :)

http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/655060

LOST!

I currently have no life due to the loss of my car keys. Why don't you just use your spare set you ask? Because that was my spare set. I am extremely forgetful and I loose things frequently, I would probably forget my name if it wasn't on all of my papers in my backpack. What did I have for breakfast this morning? How do I spell my middle name? Is my boyfriends name Garrett of Jared? Just quetions that I have to go through in my head every now and again...or every day but who is counting.